How to Make It: Vegan Bulletproof Matcha Latte Recipe

It’s a sad fact that after my elimination diet, I realized I couldn’t have coffee. Very sad. My Puerto Rican/Portuguese ass formerly joked that my blood type was Café Bustelo.

But that threw a wrench into my nutrition, as I always started my morning with some dairy-free bulletproof coffee. So, what’s a woman to do?

Well, considering I’m dating a Brit, the answer was easy: tea lattes. Obviously a vegan bulletproof matcha latte was first on my list! But I’ll tell you more about that later—onto the good shit.

Picture of matcha latte before blending next to a packet of brain octane oil.
Look at that green goodness

Ingredients

  • Green tea sachet
  • 1 cup of water
  • 1/8 teaspoon Matcha powder (you can add more, but start here)
  • CAN of *unsweetened* full-fat coconut milk or can of coconut cream
  • 1 tsp. brain octane oil
  • Stevia*
  • Blender of some sort

Directions

Boil water and steep the tea for the recommended amount of time.

In a blender, combine the matcha, 2 tablespoons of coconut milk/cream, brain octane oil, and stevia to taste.

Blend it up, reheat, and enjoy your vegan bulletproof matcha latte!

*You don’t NEED to use stevia, but whatever you use, make sure it does NOT contain sugar. A big part of bulletproof drinks is extending a fast (the period of not eating while you’re sleeping IS a fast). Sugar will break that fast.

A picture of a matcha latte in a china mug with an illustration of a bride and groom from behind with doodles of wedding-related items around them.
That’s my royal wedding mug because I’m that person.

Why I Stopped Drinking Coffee

Believe me when I say this wasn’t a choice I would have made if it didn’t strike me as necessary. I could have handled heartburn, diarrhea, gas—any of that. Unfortunately, the side effects showed up on my face.

I have some kind of mystery rash/fungus/something on my face that seems to have the same triggers as acne but isn’t. I won’t go into details, but basically it makes my face itchy and red as all hell.

Because I can’t wear foundation (it irritates my skin), anything that causes the rash to break out just isn’t something I’m willing to consume.

Coffee happened to be one of those things.

I still have it now and then as a special treat**, but it was fired from my daily routine.

Going Coffee-Free

Frankly, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I refuse to get less than eight hours of sleep (don’t hate me—I don’t have children yet), so the caffeine isn’t as necessary to my daily existence.

But I’ve always loved the flavor and ritual of morning coffee, and that felt harder to part with.

So, now my British boyfriend has shepherded me into the realm of tea.

Not only is it a delicious replacement for coffee, but I have a variety of bulletproof recipes that I swap out on a daily basis that keeps my Gemini ascendant from getting bored.

I plan on eventually getting around to all of them, but spoiler alert! It’s basically the same as the vegan bulletproof matcha latte with different types of tea, minus the matcha.

Do you have a bulletproof substitute I should know about? Drop it in the comments!

**Nothing is getting between this white girl and her PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE this fall.

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