Ask Jessie: How can I be more chill when it comes to dating?

Dear Jessie,

How can I be more chill when it comes to dating? I feel like I can’t get there AT ALL. For example, I’m trying to decide whether I should text this guy and it’s literally NOT A BIG DEAL AND I’M MAKING IT A THING.

Signed,

Always Anxious

Dear always anxious,

First of all, you and I both know you should just text the guy. But what I’m actually hearing here is a fear of showing up as yourself in the dating sphere.

What if I’m too much? What if I text him too soon or too much or, or, or…??

That fear stems from the fear of being yourself as you start to date and it’s one that, if you listen to it, will keep you from finding the right kind of partner for you.

You should be your unfiltered self 100% of the time. This can feel SUPER uncomfortable if you’ve ever been a people pleaser, come from an emotionally unstable home, or been single for a long time.

It’s easy to fall into the mindset trap that you need to be on your best behavior to attract a mate.

But all that will get you is a mate who isn’t in love with the REAL you.

A friend once gave me the advice:

“Get mad early and often”

The idea is that it will set the standard for the relationship and how you expect to be treated. Not rocking the boat just sets you up for disappointment in the long-haul.

Your partner should bring the same level of understanding and eagerness to please as you do. If you need to keep your thoughts to yourself or censor your habits or personality to please someone else, well, both of you are going to be disappointed when your REAL personality comes to the surface.

I know it can be hard, especially if you’re a naturally anxious person (I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, so believe me when I say, I FEEL YA), but don’t allow your fears to hijack your hope of finding someone who will love you exactly as you are.

For further reading on that, please visit one of my favorite articles ever written on anxiety and dating from Ask Polly over at The Cut: Am I too anxious to ever find love?

Happy texting!

Jessie Da Silva

Craving more from your life & business?
I can help.

After months of largely crickets in my online business, I was able to do enough inner work that I could follow my true calling without fear. Once I snapped into the right mindset and habits, the money began to flow effortlessly. And now I'm ready to teach you to do that, too.


LEARN MORE
Jessie Da Silva

Make More Money Today
Everyone needs balance to find alignment. Take this quiz to figure out where to focus your effort so you can call in more abundance! Check your email after for free resources.

GET THE TRACKER & GUIDE
0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

YOU might also like

Picture of an alter with lavender on it with the words "How I manifested more than 20k in one launch" with Jessie DaSilva written on the top

How I Manifested More Than $20k in One Launch

Today, I want to tell you about one of my biggest money manifestations in business to date: How I manifested more than $20k in one launch. It all started at the tail end of 2020, but came to fruition earlier this year. In the post right before this one, I told you...
Picture of an altar with lavender and the words "how I manifested my dream career" with Jessie DaSilva written over the picture

How I Manifested My Dream Career

People have scoffed at me when I’ve spoken about “manifesting” your dream career or dream business, but it’s only because they’re more familiar with its other names:  Mindset. Positive Thinking. Risk-taking. Leaps of Faith. Saying, “Fuck It” and Doing it Anyway....
Picture of someone on their laptop with the words "Free Resources and Black Friday Sales" with Jessie Da Silva written over the picture.

Free Resources and Black Friday Sales

Hey new and old friends! So you’ve found me on TikTok or Buzzfeed, and you’re intrigued by what it is I do. But you're not sure where to go from here? I'm going to go over some Free Resouces and my Black Friday Deals with you. Which Facebook Group is for you?  5...
A picture of ladies working at a desk with the words "My new Facebook Group is now live!" on top with Jessie DaSilva

My new Facebook Group is live!

Hey new and old friends, so I know I said I was making another BRAND NEW GROUP for those who want networking, job hunt, and career advice and I have good news…  My new Facebook Group is ready!  Here’s the link Check out my Black Friday Sale Offers! I also wanted to...
Picture of Jessie DaSilva with words "I've been featured in Buzzfeed!" on top.

I’ve been featured in Buzzfeed!

Hey old and new friends! I wanted to take a minute to introduce myself on my socials since being featured on Buzzfeed for my viral TikTok content!  I’m Jessie DaSilva, also known as the Millennial Money Witch, a name given to me by Forbes for my brand of coaching...

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This